okay, this post is going to be a bit selfish and might be a little rediculous but it's where I am today. I am not feeling this whole pregnancy thing. I can't seem to feel "normal" at all! There are seemingly so many restrictions, no wine, no shrimp, no feta cheese, no lunch meat, no drugs. I freak out with every twinge and tange that I feel below the belly button (or baby button as my friend Bailey would call it). I mean it's cramping my style! Sure, sacrific is a part of being a parent but I guess I didn't really think a whole lot about these sort of things. A friend of mine said the perfect thing this morning, it's hard to understand the scope or reason for all of these life altering things b/c you can't even see the tiny growth deep inside of you.
It seems like right when I begin to wrap my head around the fact that I'm pregnant, then I get nauseas, once that is over then I can't find anything that is appetizing. Once that's over, now i have an ear infection (that's where the no drugs comes in). The nurses who helped me this morning kept congratulating me when they found out I am pregnant. I was like "thanks (umm you don't need to congratulate me b/c for now it's all crap)." I sometimes seriously wonder if I really am preganant. But no period means pregnancy, so I'm still pregnant.
Sometime this week I think the baby's heart begins to beat. Now that's strange, here I am in a bad mood (b/c I'm not well) and the life's heart is beating. I need to get some perspective and get over myself. All the while I say "Lord. Listen. You know what's going on and I guess that's the absolute best thing right now. Regardless of what mood I'm in, you've blessed us with a child and I trust that you will see this through. Give me the patience and understand that is required of me." This is going to seem so silly when I look back on this post in several months. But I will depend on the Lord b/c I don't know if I can do this right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment