Since becoming a mom it seems like I FEEL so much more.
Today has been a strange day. Full of emotions. I just want to curl up in Sweetie's arms and have a good cry. But that would take too much energy.
Little Miss took a tumble off of our bed this morning. I freaked out. Of course I called the pediatrician but my cell phone coverage was going in and out (which it doesn't seem to do anywhere in my house) and as I was listening to the voice recording I hung up. I thought they would report me to child services.
So I called my mom. She successfully talked me down. By that point E wasn't crying any more and wanted to play. She is fine, but I'm still recovering.
Yes, I googled children falling off the bed and have been closely watching her the entire day. I'm sure she's fine.
Feeling intense about that moment.
Later this afternoon a good friend called with some bad news about a family member.
Again, intense situation and more strong feelings.
Now, with a 7 mile run DONE and a good long shower I'm starting to feel a bit better. Still anxious for Cary to come home and hold me for a bit.
It's like I want to have arms big enough to hug away other people's pain. Sweetie has arms big enough to hug away my pain.
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2 comments:
wow, leah. loved this post. i'm sorry it was a rough day. i'm SURE ellery is FINE. but i KNOW that feeling all too well...you feel like you're going to completely LOSE it! i pray you have a great night with cary tonight.
Being a parent is definitely gutting. I hope Cary's hug helps today. You know, for all that extra emotion as a mom, you also gain strentgh, stamina and patience that you never imagined posessing. You're an awesome mom and I'm pretty sure having a child fall off of something - bed, changing table, swingset - is part of the initiation. Sean fell backwards off of the back of a couch onto his head and broke a lamp in the process...and he seems to have turned out okay ;)
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